Never Have I Ever
by little-linds
Summary: Written for the prompt  "As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season." from the Puck/Rachel drabble meme on LJ.


**Summary:** _Written for the prompt "As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season." (from TFLN) at the Puck/Rachel drabble meme on LJ._

**Author's Note:** _I honestly don't know if kids in Ohio get opening day of deer season off school, but I grew up in Michigan and we did and I always thought it was slightly fucked up because we didn't get MLK Day off. I also didn't realize just how much this was like an episode of Veronica Mars. You'll have to excuse the unoriginality with that, but I assure you, I didn't intend for it to be like that! Also, this is my first Glee fic ever, so be kind :)_

When you're in high school and you live in Ohio you get the opening day of deer season off school. Yeah, it's fucked, but it's also awesome and Puck's not gonna complain about having a day off school. All high schoolers in Lima have a tradition for Opening Day that includes two-tracking in the woods, having a bonfire, and a playing a drinking game that may or may not involve taking a shot whenever they hear a gunshot. (Well, they actually never hear gunshots since they go on private property and hunters aren't allowed to go back there, but everyone _pretends _they hear them, at least.)

The day before Opening Day everyone is making plans in Glee. Puck decides that this year they aren't taking Finn's girly compact car because last year they got stuck in the snow a mile into the woods and missed all of the festivities. That will not happen again if he has anything to say about it. So, Puck offers to drive Finn & Quinn (who the fuck knew that relationship would last almost a year?) and Artie and Tina (Brittany isn't going and he still feels bad for what went down between Mike, Artie, Tina and Brittany, but Artie is his bro and he's got his back). Mike got this badass new truck and in order to keep the dueling couples away from each other, he offers to drive Sam and Santana.

They are all stoked and ready to be done with this bullshit day, but Mr. Schuester walks in and starts blabbering on and on about doing a new song for Sectionals and how they need to bring their "A game" - some things never change.

Some things do change though and that thing is in his periphery sitting in a short-ass black skirt, yellow tights and a striped sweater. She looks like a bumbleebee and he starts laughing to himself until he realizes that she looks like a really fucking sad bumblebee.

It's been almost a year since the epic shitstorm that was the Finn/Rachel breakup (he will not call them Finchel even if his life depends on it, but he's gotta admit, he kinda loves the term Puckleberry) and Rachel-Berry-Future-Tony-Award-Winner has been back in full force, but today...today she looks like someone stole her car and ran over her puppy with it.

He doesn't mean to say that shit out loud, but Mr. Schue is working with Santana and Sam and he glances at her and the words just come out. She's shocked, but then plasters on that creepy smile, glances at her hands and tells him it's nothing.

He slides over to the chair next to her, ducks his head to her level and just stares at her. He's a creeper, for sure, but it's kinda funny and now she's laughing and it's totally worth it.

"Noah, stop staring at me like that. It's just...I've never been to Opening Day." She curls her hands under her chair and sits up taller.

"Shit Berry, you think you need an invitation or something?" Okay, so maybe she has very good reason to think she needs an invite what with being a social outcast and shit, but she's been going to parties for the entire school year because he kinda took her under his wing and became, like, friends with her or whatever. And really, if you are friends with the Puckzilla, then you are golden.

"Well yeah, I did. I mean, my Prius would never make it out there..." she trails off and looks at him with these sad eyes. He groans and rolls his eyes, tells her she is riding with him and that Quinn and Finn can sit in the bed of the truck because he doesn't want to listen to them bitch at each other the entire ride anyway.

He picks Rachel up first because he can't drive around town with everyone in the back, that shit is illegal and he's been keeping his record clean thank you very much. Yeah, it's mostly because of the chick that's running down her front steps and leaping (he put these huge tires on his truck that are legit as tall as her) into his truck, but he's not a pussy or anything. She just like, believes in him and what can he say? it's kinda nice.

She's wearing jeans today so he doesn't catch a glimpse of her underpants like he usually does, but he can't complain because she looks hot in them and she has on this ski coat he's never seen her wear. Her hair is covered with this red beret, but he can still smell the coconut shampoo she uses. It's actually in the 50s which is crazy because, hi, it's November and it's Ohio, but he can't help thinking how fucking cute she looks.

They pick everyone else up at Finn's cause it's the last stop on the way and everyone is pumped. Puck blasts his radio and Rachel changes the station to some Top 20 shit station. Everyone screams along with some Katy Perry song. He fucking hates the chick but even he has to admit that her lyrics are catchy.

It's almost dark when they reach the opening. Everyone jumps out and Puck reaches down by Rachel's feet to grab the dry firewood he put in his truck last weekend (yeah, he's a planner). He definitely notices the breath she sucks in when his hand accidentally brushes behind her knee. You can bet your ass he's filing that information for later. It's no secret that Rachel Berry is hot as hell and he needs both hands and feet to count how many times he's dreamt about pulling that sweet body against him and hearing her moan his name, but he actually likes having her as a friend and he doesn't want to fuck that up.

Mike pulls out some Red Bull and vodka and starts pouring drinks for everyone. Finn breaks open his case of beer and hands one to Rachel. She thanks him and gives him this look that makes Puck's blood boil. He knows Rachel and he knows that look. It's the look she gives him when he opens the door for her or when he invited her over to dinner and his mom blabbed that Noah was raving about the song she had been singing in Glee that week. It's the _Berry Look _that makes you think that nobody has ever been nice to her before and you just like, saved her puppy AND got her car back.

This does not explain why the fuck she's looking at Finn like that. Yeah, they are friends again and have been singing together in Glee a lot lately, but Finn is an ass and Rachel knows that. Puck looks at her tiny hand and sees what she's holding. It's Bud Light and he knows Finn hates Bud Light (tastes like piss) but he also knows it's the only beer Rachel will drink (not that she drinks that much anyway, but she's definitely loosened up a bit lately).

He's not 100% sure why he's so fucking pissed that Rachel gave Finn the _Berry Look_ for just like bringing her favorite drink, but he's not going to analyze that and he doesn't have time anyway because Quinn notices and grabs Finn's arm and pulls him somewhere so they can probably bitch at each other.

He starts piling the logs to build a campfire and everyone sits down around it, rubbing there hands together. Even with a lake next to them, it's warm enough to go without a coat and they don't really need a fire, but it's tradition.

It's mostly just the Glee clubbers for the first couple of hours until they hear a loud engine and some football players pile out of an SUV, including Karofsky who has definitely been pre-gaming. He strolls up to the group, screams "Heyyyyy, it's the Glee club!" and sits down on the log next to Rachel. The log rolls and so does she and Puck's next to her in like, 2 seconds and he's 5 seconds away from beating the shit out of Karofsky.

"The fuck was that for?" He gets up in his face and the football posse stands behind Karofsky, protecting him or some shit.

"Woah, woah. Puck. It was an ax...an accident," he slurs, his hands up in surrender. Karofsky is still a dick but Puck has been pretty good about keeping him in line lately especially when it comes to Glee. Apparently alcohol makes Karofsky stupid though and he walks over to Rachel, gets in her face and asks where her "homo friend" is. (Kurt decided not to come because him and Mercedes are studying for a re-take of the SATs. Puck thinks he probably should be doing the same but he actually didn't do half bad, mostly because Rachel tutored him. He told her the only way he would study with her was if she'd show him her boobs. She refused, of course, and he knew she would but he wasn't going to waste that opportunity. He knows she wants him to get into a good college and he definitely noticed the slight hesitation in her refusal.)

Anyway, Puck moves towards the pair ready to rip him a new one, but Rachel is already on it. She's definitely gotten ballsy in the past year.

"_Kurt_," she emphasises the name, "is studying for the SATs so he can get into a good school and do amazing things with his life. He's going to get out of this tiny ass town, which is more than I can say for you!" Fuck, he would have used a few more curse words and probably stepped into Karofsky's face but really, he couldn't have said it better himself.

Just when he thinks the night couldn't get any better, she takes Karofsky's goddamn shot from his hands and downs it in one gulp. Santana wordlessly hands her some beer to chase it and Rachel chugs it down, shivers and hands it back to her. San laughs and puts her arm around Rachel and he knows that's San's protective move (he's seen her do that to Brittany). He never thought he'd see the day when her and Rachel got along, but one day they bonded over something (he's still not sure what they were whispering about when they walked into Glee) and they've been friends ever since. They don't do sleepovers or anything (Jesus, just the thought of that makes him hard) but he's glad Rach has a friend of the female persuasion.

Puck calmly suggests Karofsky and his friends kindly GTFO and surprisingly they do, probably too drunk to start a real fight (pussies).

He walks over to the Rachel and Santana huddle while they are taking another shot.

"Slow down there slugger" he nods to Rachel, handing her some water. She giggles at the nickname, takes the water and puts it to her lips. More of it ends up on her coat than in her mouth and he knows she's getting fucked.

He's not quite sure who suggests it, but they start playing "Never have I ever". Finn starts out saying "Never have I ever stolen anything." Puck snorts and Finn gives him a dirty look. Everyone except Finn, Sam, and Rachel take a drink and Santana mutters an _oooh _when Quinn's wine cooler touches her lips.

Artie's turn results in everyone but him drinking ("never have I ever skipped school" - yeah, he got Rach to skip one day). Santana's exclamation of "never have I ever hooked up with a teacher" results in nobody but her drinking, Puck wanting to puke his guts out, and Rachel telling her that's not how you play the game. His turn results in Finn, Quinn, Sam, and Mike drinking (never have I ever been cheated on).

It starts getting really dirty (never have I ever given a blow job/never have I ever received a blow job/never have I ever had sex in a public place) when Rachel pipes up. "Wait, wait! I've got a good one," she half shouts, half giggles. "Never have I ever, gone skinny dipping." Everyone but her takes a drink. Her face reddens and she ducks her head, laughing into her coat, but then she looks at Puck, shrugs her shoulders and says, "It's not that cold out today." Santana whistles, claims it's the best idea she's had all night and grabs Rachel's hand. They both run towards the lake, Santana peeling her clothes off the entire way. Rachel, a bit shy, hangs back as Santana loses the rest of her clothes and jumps in the lake.

"Holy fuck, it's cold! Come on Rach, don't be such a pussy!" she shouts. Everyone is walking (running) over to the lake to witness this great event when Rachel shucks her clothes and jumps into the water. Puck barely catches a glimpse of her sweet body before she dives under.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Rachel yells after coming up for air. Santana shoots her an intense look of admiration and splashes water at her. She then grabs Rachel's hand, pulling her towards shore. Sam, bless his soul, had the good sense to grab two blankets from Mike's car. Santana runs out of the water, grabs the blanket and pulls it tightly around her body.

"C-cold as fuck," she says through chattering teeth.

"C'mon out of the water Rach, you're gonna get hypothermia," Puck yells. Sam throws Puck the other blanket and he holds it open for her, but she seems unsure of herself.

"Tell everyone to close their eyes!" She yells from the water.

He tells them to, but nobody does. Finn laughs but Puck knows it's too dark to see anything anyway. He walks closer to the water (ok, maybe he's trying to block her from their view, just to make sure).

"You too, Noah." He sighs, rolls his eyes, but complies (and no, he doesn't peek because he respects her and shit). He's holding the blanket up though and she runs into it. His eyes are still closed, but he wraps the blanket, and his arms, around her and he can feel her body pressed against him. She laughs. "I can't believe you kept your eyes closed." He opens them and smiles down at her.

"Me neither. Let's try that again." She elbows him through the blanket.

Santana, who already has her clothes on (girl has no shame), hands Rachel her clothes. "Put some clothes on, Berry," she teases.

Not long after the impromptu polar bear plunge Santana informs everyone that she's "chilled to the bone" and there's only one way for Sam to warm her up and she'll give them a hint, it involves his bone (gross). Mike, who hasn't been drinking all night, offers to take them home along with Artie & Tina and Finn & Quinn because Finn is staying at Mike's, and Quinn won't leave his side for more than a minute and Artie & Tina are going to Tina's place which is on the way to Mike's house. (He has put the Artie/Tina/Brittany shit behind him and Puck thinks he's probably a saint.)

Puck and Rachel hang back to deal with the fire and a half hour later he's helping her into his truck. When he climbs in the driver's seat, she slides over next to him to warm up. The ride to the Berry house is about 30 minutes and Rachel starts talking about something he can't concentrate on. He knows she's still a bit fucked because even sober Rachel doesn't talk this fast.

Next thing he knows she's rolling down the window, telling him to slow down and yelling something to the deer that are in a clearing on the side of the road. He asks her what the fuck she's doing and she yells out the window again, "Congratulations on making it through the first day of deer season." They see more deer as they make the way to her house and she continues congratulating them in that super earnest Rachel Berry way. He thinks it's the cutest fucking thing he's ever seen, and also the strangest and funniest, but he would never tell her any of those things.

He pulls into her driveway, turns off the engine, and asks what her fathers are going to say when she's drunk and stumbling into her house at 2am.

"My dads aren't home tonight. Dad has a conference in Chicago and Daddy went with him." He's fairly sure she doesn't mean for it be as suggestive as it sounds, but she has this sly look on her face and he thinks _Drunk-Berry_ is a gift from God.

He helps her out of the car and grabs her around the waist to walk her to the house so she gets there in one piece. _Drunk-Berry_ may be a gift from God, but she also has no sense of balance.

When they get inside she immediately walks up to her room, but he knows what tomorrow is going to be like for her (trust him, he's been there before), so he goes to the kitchen and gets a glass of water and some Advil for her.

She's already changed into these black pants (Kurt's told him they're yoga pants, but he's not really sure that they have anything to do with yoga) and this green wife beater style top. Her hair is wavy and kind of a mess from going in the lake and her cheeks are pink from the alcohol. She's never looked more beautiful to him and that's when he realizes that she's not the only one in the room that's fucked.

He realizes that this girl standing in front of him - the girl who believes in him, the girl who sticks up for her friends, the girl who wants to grab life by the balls - is the girl he never knew he needed, or wanted, until now.

He's standing there with the cup of water in one hand and the advil in the other and she gives him the _Berry look_ but with something more added in and he thinks that maybe she needs him, and wants him, too.


End file.
